Glacier National Park, Montana, US
It’s not a secret anymore that I am a chronic illness warrior. Chronic illness has put me in a different place in life than everyone else. It’s not just pain. It’s complete physical, mental and emotional assault on my body. I take steroids like a diabetic take insulin. I do things at pain levels others wouldn’t even consider moving at because if I don’t, I won’t have a life. Some days it’s intensely hard for me to roll out of bed or stand straight after a shower, and there are days I am running the kitchen like a Bionic Woman.
I was never exactly a home body. This “illness” had altered my life in so many ways I never imagined. And of course, this annoying pandemic did not make things easy for me! Staying indoors for so many months without any proper physical activities made it harder to keep an ideal weight. The insane amount of steroids and sodium I feed into my body - it makes it even harder to maintain an ideal weight at the age of 37. But it’s more important now I find ways to push myself harder to eat healthy and adopt a healthier lifestyle. There are many ways to love our body but fueling our body with nutritious food is the highest form of self-respect.
Today, more than 95% of all chronic disease is caused by food choice, toxic food ingredients, nutritional deficiencies and lack of physical activities. Eating right portions and more from the earth can do significant difference. Every time I eat, it’s an opportunity to nourish my body. Good nutrition creates health in all areas of our existence. All parts are interconnected. Our bodies are designed to hunt for our food and then prepping it, which is actually a good way to stay physically active. Occasionally walking down the supermarket aisles will not supplement for hunting. Thankfully I don’t have to hunt for my food or even walk miles to pick my veggies or carry buckets of water from a well. The least I can do is “walk.” Keeping a tap on my daily steps or doing light workouts can supplement for our “hunting rituals.” Recently I have started intermittent fasting and online Zumba classes to dance away all my stress and embrace a good laugh (yes, I am the most comical dancer in the history of mankind).
One can’t deal with chronic illness when they are already defeated mentally and emotionally. We often talk about mental health without really understanding how it all begins or how real people have to deal with it. Posting a mental health awareness quote on social media is “hip” now. But dealing with mental health is more than just a shallow post on social media. Anxiety and depression are not self-inflicted. Anyone who has met me, knows I am a happy-go-lucky clown. Yet, I have a spectrum of clinical depression. It’s a chemical imbalance in our body due to health issues or even due to lot of chemicals we must endure for treatments. There are ways to feed our mind and emotions with intangible “nutrition.” I have found these very helpful to keep me sane for most days. I don’t usually watch TV, so I keep myself often occupied with office work, reading books, virtually socializing with friends, cooking & baking, gardening, crafting, journal-ing, reading Quran or listening to Quran recitations.
There are so many ways to wire our brain to feel good and be grateful all the time. I have learned to treasure every alert moment. Every second of pain free bliss or distracted conversation has become a gift.
::::DISCLAIMER::::
This post is not to body-shame me or anyone. This is me just sharing how I am dealing with my illness and how I am striving every day to better myself. My heartfelt thanks to Rubana Saquib & Pegah Hemati for inspiring to try to be fit. I am so fortunate to surround myself with “fit people” who inspire me to be disciplined.

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